Saturday, February 2, 2008

Men are always telling me to get some sleep. Fathers and lovers and friends and acquaintances and enemies. Men who love me and men who hate me. In care and condescension, I hear it again and again in bass and tenor and baritone, "Get some sleep."

I've been an insomniac since I can remember. When it's bad it can drive me crazy. When it's better it's only mildly inconvenient. I once lay awake all night after taking a prescription Ambien. I've gone for weeks only sleeping an hour or two a night. I want to sleep, I just don't know how.

My cold has become bronchitis. I spent the day at the walk-in-clinic obtaining antibiotics. I'm so tired but I'm not asleep. I should start taking better care of myself.

Tomorrow I hopefully will feel better and will make cupcakes for the Super Bowl because oh dear god I am that heterosexual. Tony and Sam and I will pound on our Macs while some folks yell for teams. I just want to write a goddamned novel, is that so much to ask?

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