Wednesday, August 22, 2007

thought that I was young

You're always crying to leave somewhere.

I'm obsessed right now with the song "I Wish I Was the Moon" by Neko Case. I'm listening to it on a loop while I write this. god bless me, i'm a free man with nowhere free to go...

My upstairs neighbor Sara-with-no-H brought me cough drops and Tylenol Sinus. Having her as an upstairs neighbor is proof that I did some things right in my past life. We soon will watch nerdy videos or go to Maine. Whichever comes first.

Still sick, but getting better, tonight I finally ate my cheeseburger. Good god what life joy lives in just a cheeseburger and a chocolate malt. Pictures taken on a camera phone. Planting your "Art Saves" sticker on the wall of Bartley's. These things make me too happy and should make me happier.

Personal tumult on top of the physical sickness this past week. I am transferring stores, leaving the Starbucks where I made so many of my friends. Everyone is sad. I was crying today. Seven months ago I remember crying, pulling away from my parents' house in Indiana, driving down 465 wailing. If I had stopped, driven back, stayed there, I would not know any of these people. I would not be crying to leave this place. Change feeds me, but is so hard on me sometimes.

My wife, Mallory is back from her surgery. I forgot how good it was for me to have her around. I will miss working with her. I've just been hacking, coughing, writing, talking to friends and trying to sleep. These attempts have been varyingly successful.

I have not been to any open mics in a week. Tonight Mallory and I paid 3 dollars for the Cantab, but there is no where to sit, I am sick, and she is gimpy with a surgeried leg. We stand in the back for a while, but we are in Adam Stone's way and I feel awkward and sad, so we go right away. I'm afraid I seem rude. It is not like that. I'm just shy and sad, and I got up at five AM after going to bed a two.

I think I've forgotten how to write in complete sentences.

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