Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Shit. If I were in a better all around mindspace, I would be reveling in providence and the goodwill of the people around me. All in all it was not a bad day. Woke up about 12:30 and actually wrote. Shit. Actually wrote fiction. Actually read. The weather sucked -- I can never breathe when it's so hot and humid, and around 5:30 all I could think of was Harrell's ice cream, so I thought why the fuck not? Drove down to Allston and got me some. Medium sized. Malted Vanilla and Cherry Vanilla. So good. Actually cheered me up.

Feeling a bit better, Al and I went to the Cantab. Got there late but Ryk is the man and put me on the open mic anyway. Read "Redlight." Ducked out at about 9 to get a quesadilla and smoke. Ran into Debbie and Devon outside the 1369. Some people recognized me. I told everyone to come to my feature.

My boss has been scheduling me with shit hours, but Mike at the door is going to hook me up with a waitressing job at the Cantab. I think I'd really enjoy doing that a couple of nights a week. Maybe more. I'm going to go in this weekend and talk to the owner.

See man? Good things are happening. People like me. Care about me. A lot of them. A lot of them care a lot. I was talking to my friend Maegan yesterday. She mentioned my low self-esteem. She said I was dynamic. And beautiful. And a good writer. I should know these things. I feel like I knew them for an instant last spring and then forgot them again. Where did that feeling go?

Tomorrow night Lisa and I have a date to eat Taco Bell and watch the best movie ever, Henry Fool. There's something to look forward to. I'm opening in four and a half hours for a four and a half hour shift. Not smart to sleep. I'll sleep when I ge off. Let's see what else we can get done in the meantime.

I like my time alone.

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